


Thing Called Love

by hotrodngold (Krystalicekitsu)



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Chess, Community: 1stclass_kink, Heartbreak, Introspection, Love/Hate, M/M, Pining, Post Divorce, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-14
Updated: 2011-10-14
Packaged: 2017-10-24 15:22:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krystalicekitsu/pseuds/hotrodngold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I used to be just fine on my own, you know."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thing Called Love

**Author's Note:**

> for [](http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/profile)[**1stclass_kink**](http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/). Long, wordy prompt @ [Here.](http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=14360401%20-%20t14360401) Originally posted [Here](http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/7761.html?thread=15322705%20-%20t15322705). Heartbreak, post-divorce.

  
"I used to be just fine on my own, you know," Erik says it, out of the blue, and Charles looks up from deciding if he should take the pawn now and the bishop later or see if he can make off with the queen without sacrificing his knight. Erik is staring at the trees in the distance, watching as they rustle and whisper in the wind.

"Oh?" and Charles has no idea where this is going, but it's a different topic from what they usually discuss and he's willing to go with it, if only for a change of pace. He takes the pawn.

"I used to be completely safe and isolated."

"And I know," Erik continues, nudging a rook along four spaces, "that you think lonely when I say alone, but don't bother. I was content to simply be."

Charles moves a knight into position- can't take the bishop now.

"But then you came along with your 'you aren't alone' and your ridiculous ideals and your chess, and cardigans and I thought 'who is this insane little bugger with the damn accent'."

Erik's silent for a long time. Charles resists poking him or into his head.

"I was safe, and alone. Maybe a bit lonely, but who isn't," Erik says, talking to the knight he's rolling between his fingers. "And then you came busting into everything and before I knew it, you were right in the middle of it all and there was nothing I could do about it, because I was the one who put you there in the first place. I put you there and made myself vulnerable to you and now I can't even find myself regretting the choice, despite everything."

Charles stares at his queen. Despite everything. He rubs his knee self-consciously.

"I think that-," Erik sighs, shakes his head, smile small and sardonic, "No. I know. You didn't mean it, and I didn't mean it and that might be the worst part of this whole fucking situation, but no one said love was kind, because she takes hostages and ties you up in knots, and simple things become words and actions that should never have been said. And I'm sorry, Charles, that I don't regret it, but I can't regret it. Any of it, though it hurts. Deeply, down further than even your telepathy can see- something further down than bones or marrow; a soul-hurt that gets inside and festers until it's all you can think about and its all you know."

Erik stands, moving a knight in the same movement, "Checkmate."

He stands there and Charles doesn't look up because he can feel Erik's eyes on him and he can't show him the things he's sure are showing in his eyes past the tears because it would just make everything worse.

Erik sighs. "I hate love." He walks away.

Charles tips his king over as the first tear falls.


End file.
